💖 Being Your Best Big
Navigating Little Space Without a Big
Hey kiddos!
I’m Carrie, part of the awesome ABU customer service team assisting you littles and bigs with your diaper shopping needs. I haven’t been in the community long, per say, but in that short time I have gathered a wealth of knowledge from long-time wearers, age regressors, caregivers, and others within the AB/DL community.
Being a little for most of my journey and not in a dynamic until recently, I know it can get lonely when you’re navigating your little space on your own and figuring out what you need in those moments. After being both a little and a Mommy, I took things I learned from my time alone and still apply it to when I’m being a caregiver or when I am on my own and want to feel small.
A lot of us are navigating our little spaces alone, sometimes craving that dynamic of a caregiver while being in our little space, and it can be tough when we are seeing ‘perfect versions’ online, at events, or in other spaces.
First of all, that feeling you are experiencing is 100% normal and okay! As humans, we crave connection and community – it’s in our biology. Being witness to AB/DL dynamics when we don’t have it in our own circle can feel devastating and difficult to see. I’m here to remind you that there is already a caregiver that loves you so much, and that caregiver is within your own self! I know, it sounds silly, but here me out.
Think about it – we were all kiddos before we grew into the adults we are now, that inner child is still there within you. As an adult now, you can be the grown-up that little you needed during childhood, and therefore can be there during your moments of age regression or when you’re feeling small. You knew what you needed as a child, and that can be a great starting point in how you interact with your little side as your very own big!
Here are some tips I personally recommend:
Talk to yourself - no really! 🗣️
Communicating with yourself as a big and responding back as your little self is not only a great way to get what you want out of your desire to have that dynamic, but when your body hears you being loving to yourself – it actually has a positive outcome!
When you speak negatively about yourself, your body recognizes this and knows, therefore negatively affecting your physical and mental well-being – so be nice to yourself!
Think about it – every time you talk negatively about yourself, your inner child is feeling that pain too, and that little one needs love. Practicing giving yourself that love and attention is healthy and necessary to navigate this world on your own.
Being reliant on your own needs, and not relying on another person to fulfill them is immensely important. Something as simple as “Hey little one, are you doing okay? Do you need anything?” and responding in your little voice or even hearing those words may put you at ease to know someone there is caring for you.
Set yourself up for success 👍
Something that has helped me personally is setting my outfits and diaper choice ahead of time before I go into little space. Laying it all out for me so when I get out of the bath, I can change right into my cute outfit that was picked out with love. Extra points if you have a pacifier, sippy, or bottle ready alongside it!
These small touches can help you feel that connection to a caregiver that lovingly and carefully picked out your outfit and diaper so you can keep just “be baby” and change so you can get back to playtime or get that padded tush into bed.
Don’t forget the snacks and activities! 🍬
Does your little side enjoy certain foods or activities when you are deep into little space? Pretend that you are the big, preparing your little self’s dino nuggets with care, filling the plate with love, and adding little touches like broccoli trees or a mashed potato volcano with gravy lava! Maybe even a heart made out of ketchup.
Those tiny touches would bring delight to a kiddo when they are taking a break from playtime, or maybe even making a meal you loved as a child can be a welcome addition to the mix.
Make sure your little self is taken care of! 🥰
Now you’ve had your fun and your snacks, a big’s well…biggest responsibility is making sure their little one takes care of themselves.
Ensuring your little one is brushing their teeth, washing their face, combing hair, taking their meds, and whatever else they need to be healthy.
Doing things such as this is not only necessary, but it’s the best form of self-care there is! When you are taking care of your body, you will feel better mentally, such as boosting your overall mood and self-esteem.
Give yourself a hug! 🫂
It’s easy to forget, but you can always give yourself a hug! A big squeeze by wrapping your arms around your body and giving affirmations to yourself can feel great.
You can also hug a stuffie if you’re unable to wrap your arms around yourself. Even doing little rubs along your back or pats while you hug yourself can make you feel so cozy and loved.
It sounds silly, but try it! Softly saying sweet things your big would say to you, even in times of distress can make you and your inner child feel heard and validated.
“I know you’re scared right now, but it’s okay…you are safe.”
“It’s okay baby, you cry as much as you need too, I’ve got you.”
“You know I love you, right? You’re the best baby in the world!”
Keep being awesome, Little ones!
While it may take some practice, it is something that can be mastered over time.
Be gentle with yourself, no matter the headspace you are in, and remember you are always loved and worth the extra care. Think about that inner child with each step, and know there is no wrong or right way to engage in these moments.
You can be your own big to comfort yourself, and if you ever have that dynamic enter your life: you will have a solid idea of what you would like out of it or need in your little space and activities.
Remember that no one is perfect in this world and there’s no need to strive for it – just do what feels right and know you’ve got that inner child’s back. That’s who is ultimately most important in this journey of yours.
Sending a big, warm hug on this BDF to all you babies and bigs! If you enjoyed this read, you might also enjoy this other article of ours about navigating the fantasy and actual reality of AB/DL and little space dynamics. Read it here!
– Carrie 💜
