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Making Friends and Connections in the ABDL World


Exploring Ageplay: Making ABDL Friends & Kinky Connections Out In The World

Hi everyone and welcome back to our Big Diaper Friday blog post!

It’s the bab behind the Tweets (Xs now?), posts, and crinkly antics of ABU’s social media, Ian River! If you’re not familiar with me, I am ABU’s Social Media lead! Lover of saturated diapers and hater of pants! You can check out my last blog on Diapers and Skincare Here!

This Big Diaper Friday I want to discuss a subject I think most crinkle butts consider as they follow along into exploring their kinky lives: finding and maintaining friends that share our “little” interests.

Friendship In Kink

Friendships are a key ingredient of healthy living, but it is often a struggle to either maintain old friendships or make new ones as we get older. Friendship in kinks can be even more important as they shine a light on parts of ourselves we keep private from the general public, enforcing and validating our kinky lifestyle and habits! Connecting with others through our personal journey in kink, especially a lifestyle fetish like ABDL, is important for developing a healthy and comfortable lifestyle that is in sync with our desires and aspirations.

Where Are My People?!

How does one find kinky friends? Social media provides a great way to find groups of folks that share niche interests and make the first connection with other kinksters!

X (formerly known as Twitter) holds the greatest and most visible plethora of Kinksters and diaper-folk, however, Instagram, Fetlife, Recon, Reddit, Mastodon, and many others are also adequate spots to find possible connections! And don’t forget about smaller less open platforms like Telegram and Discord, with energy and a little help from your connections on open social platforms you can often find invites to smaller more private chat servers or forum spaces. These are great for getting more personal interactions with the people you meet online and can often lead to friendships and closer relationships.

Lets start off with some social media tips (from the Social Media Lead himself): Help yourself stand out and be more approachable by posting your own content! Take a picture of you and your pets, your diaper stash, or you enjoying your hobby! People feel more comfortable speaking with a profile that shows a personality behind it, than blank profiles or reposts! You will find that being genuine and yourself brings in more people to interact with that share your interests. You don’t need to constantly make exciting content, feel free to just talk about how you spilt beans making coffee in the morning; share parts of your life that are relatable.

Seek out accounts that are posting similar interests to your own and use that opportunity to connect. Remember, sharing the same kink may not be enough on its own, find something else to bond over as well!

Now that you have a spot in the circles where kinksters can be found, how to begin making those friends?

First, establish what you are looking for:

  • A friendship with similar kinks?
  • A playful friendship?
  • A partner or chosen family member?

You may find more joy and fulfillment by focusing on the first and letting others come second naturally. Though only seeking play is perfectly valid on its own. Friendships can turn into relationships, and some will just be friendships. Gaining either is a wonderful thing, just let things develop organically over time.

Time To Put In The Work!

Social media platforms like X, Instagram, and others are great for finding and making connections, but the most important, and often most difficult portion of friendship, is maintaining it!

I find direct message platforms like Snapchat and Telegram are great for keeping those connections running. A snap from me to friends makes sure they know I am still thinking about them and keeps them clued into important moments of my life. Telegram can facilitate long discussions I have with my friends on topics we find interesting (or just sending memes to each other). 

Platforms like Telegram and Discord are helpful once you have found your people and established some social circles online. Social media can often feel a bit impersonal; you found your new friends but initiating conversation can be intimidating. Using those open social platforms to get invitations to smaller chat servers or group chats in telegram and discord is a great use of your new connections. Finding groups of common interests within these more forum based platforms often leads to closer connections; you are having active discussions with people instead of just liking or sharing their content.

Having these virtual connections can assist when it comes time for conventions and other moments to connect with kinksters in person!

What If I Want More In-Person Connections?

You’ve done everything online, you have met and are actively interacting with folks who share your interests, but it all feels so…digital. The unfortunate reality of having a niche interest like ABDL is that others who share your interest are often spread few and far between. Finding a local friend who you can regularly hang out with and share in little time is a precious friend indeed, not everyone can find one.

What you can find is the opportunity to look for those precious in-person friends. Now that you are connected to your interest circles online you should be able to search for local ABDL events, conventions that you can attend and other events. Some may just be a group of local ABDL friends who found each-other and are open to you joining in.

Many cities host local kinkster groups that run brunches, bar takeovers, and other opportunities to meet locals! With meet-up opportunities in LA, Chicago, New York, DC, Baltimore, and more! Not to mention the many kinky conventions that are diaper-friendly!
Friendships can be hard to make, but fortunately, the accessibility of the internet age provides more opportunities to make those connections. With proper cultivation it can blossom into strong and validating friendships!
Much love from me and the team here at ABU,

Ian River – (He/Him) – Social Media Lead, Super-Soaker, Pants Hater.


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